treasure.

Today I lived the life of a single parent. Clay had a work trip. Lucky for me, he doesn't flee the coop often, but that does leave me ill prepared to man the troops for more 12 hours alone.  I, of course, rattled my brain for every possible opportunity or activity to occupy my kiddos hoping to stretch my sanity through bed time.

Our day went smoothly. Emme had school until noon, so I was able to get a few must-dos crossed off the list while Delaney snoozed in her car seat. After school, we made a pit stop at home to fill our bellies then headed out to the library. When we returned home, I guiltily admit I parked Emme in front of the TV and stationed Delaney in her Jumperoo while I desperately hit the sewing machine for a project due this Saturday. Delaney bounced until she could bounce no more then gave a loud, protesting shriek that could have translated into, "Get me outta this thing!" We headed to the TV room where we found Emme almost literally glued to the TV. She was so close to the screen I am not even sure she knew what she was watching. A half dozen attempts to gain her attention, Emme finally joined us on the floor to roll around with Delaney for a while.

As promised, we had breakfast for dinner (Emme's new favorite) and were about to shimmy into our jammies when Emme decided we needed to call Nan Nan. I should have known where that phone call would lead us. Instead of down shifting our day, we piled into the car and headed over to Nan Nan & Pop Pop's for a "short" visit. I thought, would could it hurt? One last activity would get us that much closer to bed time!

Nan Nan did her usual best to wind Emme up, feeding her pumpkin bread & ice cream and letting her jump around on the furniture. My dad & I pleaded with my mom to calm down (funny that I have to reprimand my mom & my daughter) so Emme would calm down. Well, my mom got one of her fabulous "ah-ha" ideas and told Emme she had some treasures for her.  Nan Nan fetched something from the kitchen and returned to where Emme sat waiting patiently. My mom placed a small, wooden Lane box in front of Emme and opened it up. Inside was my entire jewelry collection circa 1989. One can only imagine what this collection looked like- large, dangling earrings with frogs and cats, graduated pink, blue & silver star earrings, handmade beaded chokers, charm necklaces and various tacky bracelets are only a few of the prized pieces Emme discovered. Emme loved the dangling earrings but was frustrated when she couldn't wear them, no holes. Nan Nan lovingly offered her ears for Emme to decorate.

It was time to go home. As I shuffled my girls out of Nan Nan & Pop Pop's and into our car, Nan Nan stood watch from the garage. She looked positively smashing wearing one triple dangle star earring, one multi-beaded dangle earring, and about five leather cord necklaces with various charms and beads, plus the handmade beaded choker. Emme shouted from her car seat, "I love you Nan Nan! Thanks for having us!" I'm sure the pleasure was all hers.

the mother load.

Oh, what a day. What a day. Armed with an endless "to-do" list, I pounce on Thursdays like a rabid dog. After dropping Emme at school in the morning, I burn through tasks like wildfire. For two and a half hours I get more accomplished than I can in an entire day with Emme in tow.  But today...today I have been quarantined in our home with my kiddos due to the lovely, snotty cold that is floating around these parts. Tissues are strategically placed throughout our house, never out of arms reach, and yet my girls insist on decorating my shirt sleeves with shiny, sticky boogies. Refusing to let my spirit be crushed, I trudge forth, and try to embrace the day I have been given.

Surprisingly, we have a pretty awesome day, despite the continually ooze flowing from my kiddos nostrils. We play Barbies, break-out the Play Dough Ice Cream Sunday Shop, watch a little PBS, laugh at Delaney as she practices sitting (and toppling over) on my bed, make a quick (but necessary) stop at Hobby Lobby, and I even squeeze in an afternoon run with a promised detour at a neighborhood playground. As five o'clock rolls around, I am feeling pretty confident I avoided any mommy freak-out that could have accompanied this kind of  unplanned day.

And then the bomb dropped...

Delaney was cranky, yet somehow, did not feel the need to doze off while I got dinner going. Okay. I drug the activity center thing-a-ma-jig up the basement stairs and plopped it in the middle of the kitchen floor. I pre-heat the oven for the marinated pork tenderloin I pulled from the freezer that morning. Grabbed a pan for the meat and was ready to prep the meal. Crap, the tenderloin was still frozen! Think, Nikki, think. Opened the freezer and spotted a batch of chicken enchiladas. That should do the trick. I turned up the heat on oven and tossed the enchiladas in. The tenderloin will have to wait for the weekend.

While dinner cooked, I tackled the overflowing dirty dishes in my sink as I sang the theme song to Sid the Science Kid for Emme & recovered any overboard toys tossed from Delaney's activity center. Delaney started to turn up the crank volume again so I swooped her up to perch on my hip. Oh no. I felt the warm, wet sensation of a full diaper pressed against me. I abandon the dirty dishes to see what surprise awaits me in Delaney's diaper. Explosive poop. Well, it was about time to change her into her pj's anyway. Opened the  pj drawer, no pj's. Then I recall laundry was on the docket for this morning. Seriously?

Delaney chilled in her crib as I fumbled in the basement through Emme's old clothes for the Space Bag labeled 12 months. I had to have something clean for the kid to wear to bed. I heard D start to cry so I hauled two giant Space Bags up the basement stairs and returned to Delaney's room. Frantically, I dug through those two bags and could not find one pair of footie pj's! At this point, the kitchen timer is going off, Delaney is wailing, Emme is now singing at the top of her lungs, I can't locate suitably clean pj's for the baby and I suddenly remember the dog still has to be fed.

I grabbed Delaney and headed back to the kitchen. Delaney hung in her activity center long enough for me to get Bella some dog food and take the enchiladas out of the oven. For the love of Pete, the enchiladas were still frozen!!! I threw the pan back in the oven and amped up the oven temperature and returned to the pj hunt. I located a two piece jammie set and began to dress Delaney, all the while talking to myself (in a Rain Man sort of way) that "Mommy really goofed up. She needs to pull her act together." Then Clay's head peeked around the corner, "Babe, everything okay in here?" God bless him, he kept a smile on his face and remained calm as my unplanned day, mommy freak-out moment unfolded.

When we sat down for dinner (at 7 o'clock) Clay placed a beer in front of me and patted my shoulders. Then he asked Emme about her day...

yesterday.

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic tonight. My baby is six months old today. Delaney is now closer to her first birthday than she is a newborn. During dinner she fumbles with a sippy cup and gums purred peas. She babbles at me. Babbles at Clay. Tosses her head back with a belly laugh at her big sis. She objects when things aren't going her way. She now plays an active roll in our estrogen-laden family (poor Clay).

As I lay on the floor in Emmersen's room tonight, waiting for her to doze off, I stared at the glow-in-the dark stars plastered to the ceiling above her bed. I recall the afternoon I stuck them there. My pregnant belly was still just a bump. I was at the pregnant stage where people still thought my belly was "cute" and my ankles had not begun to expand. Delaney wasn't due for another four months, but Emme's big girl room needed to be ready. Emme was still my baby. She was two & a half years old. And I was moving her out of the nursery to a room down the hall. I was nervous.

Now, tonight, as I looked around her room aglow with blue light from her LED night-light I can't help but smile at my old twin bed she sleeps in. Her little body already half as long as the mattress and only a bed rail to keep her safe. Nestled under her pink quilt, her head cradled in her pillow she just looks so...big. With Delaney's monitor in hand, I head out to the computer.

I've been working on a little home-improvement project (aka, get some family pictures on the walls). Scanning through file after file of old pictures, I am pulled deeper and deeper into another day, another life. I come across pictures of our first house, our city house. The red brick bungalow, a shade over 1000 square feet. I loved that house. I cried when I closed the door for the last time. I remember sitting on the bare wood floor of Emme's empty room, sobbing, and writing a letter to the new owner about our history with the 85+ year old house. I asked her to love the house because we were leaving a lot of love in it. I have driven by that house only two times in the past year and a half. Both times, the house looked lonely. I can't drive by it anymore.

So, where do all these scattered thoughts cross? I guess I am just yearning for a moment, a blink of time, that I can stop - for just a second. Breath in the life chance has given me, letting it fill me up, and then move on for more.

"Snow" what?

We waited all day for it. The 2-4 inches (or 1-3 inches, depending on what news station you watch) of snow finally made it's appearance in the late afternoon. Emme & I watched out the window as big, fluffy flakes drifted to the ground covering the backyard in a blanket of white. She asked me if it was time for Delaney's nap yet. Darn it. Emme remembered I told her if there was enough snow by the time Delaney went down for her afternoon snooze, I'd take her outside. Not one to break a promise, as soon as Delaney nodded off, the snow suits were on.

After twenty minutes of suiting up, I handed the baby monitor over to Clay and Emme & I trudged out the door. Emme was enthralled by the snow. Immediately, she wandered into the middle of the backyard, stretched her arms out and began to spin. All I could do was laugh and smile at her. My big girl, not so little anymore. I shook off any guilt I had for not using D's nap to tend to the baskets of unfolded laundry and tossed a snow ball at Emme. She giggled and tried to gather enough snow between her over sized thermal mittens to fire back at me. We ran around for a while. She tried to copy my foot prints left on the driveway, she threw snow at Bella (who chomped at the snow like it was a dog treat), she plopped down and made a family of snow angels, she tried to make more snow balls, she rolled in the snow. Then she decided to taste it.

At first, Emme simply stuck out her tongue and let the snow flakes fall into her mouth. She got a bit more curious and tasted the snow that was stuck on her mittens. Then she did a full face plant in the snow and took a big bite. Before I objected, I reminded my self that I, too, did this as a kid (many times) and I lived to tell the story. I let her carry on.

As the sun gave it's last light (and I could no longer feel my fingers), the two of us headed inside. Clay had graciously laid towels on the dining room floor for Emme & I to shed our snow attire. Emme sat down, took off her boots, her socks, hat, mittens, and coat. She also decided to lose her pink turtle neck and under shirt, too. Wearing nothing but black leggings, she walked over to the basement door and insisted she needed something. Now, the only thing I could think of on the other side of the door is an organizer that houses some spices and canned goods. I opened the door and she pointed at a dust pan & brush hanging under the shelves. Oh, okay. Have at it, kid. She sat down on the towel with our boots and began to brush the snow off them. I was thinking, "Gosh, buddy, that's really nice of you to clean-up for mommy." Then she turned her boots over and began brushing the snow on the bottom. Still cleaning, very cute, right? Not so fast.

Emme put the brush down and began picking at the jammed snow with her finger. Clay & I insisted she didn't need to worry about the bottom of her boots, the snow would melt away. She gave us a very confused look then began licking her finger. She was eating the snow off the bottom of her boots! I shivered thinking of Bella doing her business under that lovely, white snow. Clay must have been thinking the very same thing as we both yelled, "NO!" Emme flashed us a clueless expression, "Whhaaat?"

Come to think of it, I had a dog when I was Emme's age :)

little, big girl.

I keep thinking about things I need to write about. Like, when Clay came home from work one night last week to find the girls & I playing in the basement. Emme was directing a game of "pretend I'm the princess talking on my cell phone to the prince I'm gonna marry and you (mom) are the wicked pretend mother (Tangled inspired) who needs to go the grocery store". This is always a fun game until I make a wrong move, like talking to the pretend prince on my cell phone, not a good idea. Emme has a mini breakdown and I am no longer permitted to play.

On this particular night, I was recently fired from my pretend play position when I heard Clay walk in the house and head down stairs to check out the scene. I thought Barbie herself had walked down the stairs with how excited Emme got to see her dad. She gives Clay a big hug and says in her sweet talker voice, "Do you want to play, Dad?" I remind her that Dad might want to get changed first and she shoots me a look that could catch fire, I swear. Then she says to me, "Can I just borrow him for a little bit?" Seriously? Borrow him? I remind Emme, again, that Daddy just got home. Let the man change and grab a beer, will ya? Another sparky glare from the 40 inch tall queen of the house. Her hands land on her hips and she says to me, "I'm gonna borrow him for a minute, alright? We have a wedding!" As you wish.

         ****************************************************************

Another Emme moment was inspired by her recent fascination with being a mommy. Emme has baby dolls scattered all through our house. Truly, in every room you can find a baby. Even tonight, as I was making my last rounds before punching out for the day, I found two babies on the fireplace hearth, a baby sitting in a dining  room chair, three baby dolls on my bedroom dresser, and a baby chillin' in Delaney's highchair. Heaven knows what they are doing in these places, even more what Emme was imagining when she put them there.

What I do know is Emme handles these babies dolls like they are real living babies. She changes diapers, gives bottles, rocks them, bounces them, shushes them, kisses them and even lugs a baby in a doll-sized infant car seat when we run errands. Last Friday afternoon, Emme was playing with her babies when I had to excuse myself to go feed Delaney (D is an extremely distracted nurser and Emme can be a pretty big distraction). Just as Delaney & I were settled in the glider Emme rounds the corner with three babies in tow. I quietly remind her that Delaney needs to eat and she needs to play quietly until D is done. Emme quickly nods her head  and shrugs her little shoulders then holds up one little finger- wait a minute. She grabs a baby doll, lifts up her shirt and presses the baby against her while making a "slurping" sound. She tosses that baby to the ground and grabs another. Slurp. Second baby is on the ground and grabs the third. Slurp. Emme smiles at me and says, "I'm already done." Show-off.